Be Activated for the Third Time
We have done a lot of seminars and workshops over the years but the Be Activated with Douglas Heel is one of the best we have ever gone to. This time it was hosted by our friend JL Holdsworth who created RPR (Reflexive Performance Reset) with Cal Dietz and Chris Korfist. The Be Activated course is so powerful and moving for just about everyone that RPR was created to help bring it to the masses in a technique based first level and a deeper Level 2. I have stated in the past after our first round of Be Activated, that I had no idea how more people didn’t know about it because it was so powerful and moving. This was the same sentiment that birthed RPR that will solidify it well into the future as I believe Douglas has put it in the right hands.
This was our 3rd time. Yep, third time we lugged ourselves to a place and spent 4 days learning and absorbing with the Heel. Although each time has most of the same principles, the experiences have been different each time. I have wrote a comprehensive blog about our first time through which you can check out here:
So much has happened since the first and second go of this. I am at the 3-year mark cancer free – knock on wood. We moved the gym to a new building along with revamping the business the way we always wanted it to be. That alone has been one of the hardest challenges; changing mindsets and breaking old habits that have hindered us in the past. We have faced an incredible amount of strife and unwillingness to change. Change is always, nothing can stop it.
When we found out Douglas was coming back stateside, we jumped all in without hesitating. The first day always starts with introductions around the room which is always the most difficult part for me. In your introduction, Douglas wants to know who you are and why you here. My anxiety about saying the right or wrong thing has always hindered me. No matter how much or little I prep, my words never seem to come out right and that is the main problem. Introductions are a long process with 20 plus people going on taking up to 3 to 4 hours. It seems like a waste of time at first, but it always brings all the shit to the surface. If you are bullshitter or a monologue specialist yakking about your certs, you will get torn up till you finally say why you are really there. The real deal is to hear what each person says and what they don’t say. Now, you think I would have this shit down and I did better this time, but it is just always hard for me to speak in front of a group.
We were one of the last ones to talk so it took a while before he got to us. Douglas looked at me and said in his South African accent, “Helllouu”. He asks how I was and I tried to monologue and throw some deflecting humor around. I said something about being here to get our annual “Dougie Fix” but as usual he didn’t buy it and he kept poking at me. I mentioned I was trying to amp up my training and that business was doing pretty well. But then for some reason I said that I was a bit bored and “unenthusiastic” about things. Well that lit him up and he pounced on that finally getting out of me the powerlessness I have felt for quite some time. I have asked my wife to step in and make the changes to our business that were needed, she is organized and can see the detail part I am not great at. I see the large picture well but making all the small parts happen is not my strong suit. It is hers. We had other circumstances where we just had to step in and retake the reigns. But after six months we had made great strides but were so frustrated with the constant kickback and passive aggressiveness from several of the people who worked for us.
My plan was to light them (our employees) all up with a flamethrower when they took a shit on her but she would not let me do it as it would be ugly and people would quit or just get fired or get their feelings hurt when they were doing wrong. I often would say stop coddling them. Anyhow, I wanted to go in and napalm the region and she would stop me. It hurt me to see her try so hard and not allow me to do something especially when it was completely in everyone’s best interest and they would over time make more money.
After I admitted this out loud, he looked at me and said, Boredom and depression are the same thing. Sue was aware of my depression and had mentioned it several times before but she did not know exactly why. Her pain had become mine as I accepted it. This was eye opening for her as well as she had felt powerless and unheard herself but knowing what this was doing to us clicked the lights on as well as the anger towards everyone who had done this. That is her story and you can check out her blog here:
Coming to terms with things you don’t want to is the hardest thing but once again Douglas brought everything out in the open. She gave her part and the crying started for me but this is what happens in Douglas Heel’s Be Activated. It is a cleansing process for the majority of people who attend at some point or another. At the last two, we weren’t allowed to work with each other. This time he didn’t even have to say it, we both automatically just circulated the room. We are there for ourselves but also watching the stories unfold is gorgeous to observe. We would learn so much about each person as the days rolled on and as always, the story at the bottom is always the same. We are all just people trying to make it.
Now, the first two we attended most everyone was fresh to Be Activated meaning they did not have much experience with the techniques or philosophy. This go, most of the room were first and second level RPR’ers looking to fill their cups so I believe that changed how Douglas presented. We still did a lot of the technique work, but the philosophy he gave was much deeper this time as we all worked out our shit.
Day 1 and 2 went pretty much like the first time we attended. The first day your system begins to relax and settle down but it does fight you tooth and nail to hold on to what it knows: anxiety/fight/flight/shutdown – whatever it uses. Day 2 the fight is much less and pretty much over by the end of the day as your nervous systems drops lower and lower towards the parasympathetic it is supposed to be in. Douglas came by while I was on the table getting worked on. Things are always bubbling on the surface ready to be let go and he ALWAYS walks by right as that shit is happening. He asked me about a huge business concern we have been facing for several months and was it within my control and if it was hurting me in this moment. I said no and the tears as well as the problem just sorta melted away. I have said this very thing to people about the moment and whether or not that thing you are fretting over can really do anything to you. The truth is it can’t. But someone else had to present it in the moment so I could accept it.
Day 3 we continued to work on Level 1 and moved in some to Level 2. Lots of great changes and ah hah moments for everyone. Sue talks about finding her voice and her strength in her blog. Part of that process, was Douglas working on her while she was singing. She has sung in church for many years, at weddings, funerals – you name it. The room we were in was the drama room so it had a small stage. People were milling around working on each other. I heard Douglas stop her and begin to talk with her and he asked her to sing. She was not sure what to sing but, ” Somewhere Over the Rainbow” came up and so she started singing.
I was on the stage working with another classmate when I heard them talking but I didn’t want to stop and intrude on the moment. I know something was coming just not sure about the outcome. Again, it is a different outcome for each person. Later I would hear he gently stepped on her foot and wrapped his arm around here as she began to sing. This was to ensure he was able to work, and she would not pull away. As the singing began, my tears welled up and I fought to keep them down (remember if I was a superhero it would be the cryer). She sings beautifully no matter but as he worked on her on the room became utterly quiet as all the chatter died. She always tells him how much she hates him before he starts working on her and this was said pretense this time as well. But as she sang, and he worked on two parts of her pecs the sound of her voice changed. It became stronger, louder and clearer as her singing literally filled the room. I had to squeeze my butt cheeks and lift my head to slow the tears it was so beautiful. Words don’t describe these moments when this work expresses itself as a liberating freedom in a person.
That night we were asked to go to dinner with Doug and JL. Douglas had said he had some ideas to go over. We thought it would be just some product he was thinking about. That, it was not. The night was actually a lot of jokes, awesome conversations and other possibilities to be named later. Namely just a good time hanging out and just being in the moment.
Moving onto the last day, it started off badly for the wife. She drank way more proseccos then usual (like 5) and woke up puking and was sick all throughout the day. It was more alcohol then usual but not the amount to do that. I thought maybe she had slight food poisoning. She tried to hang in there but eventually just went to the car to sleep it off for just about the rest of the day. Douglas surmised it might be purging of toxins from the work we had been doing both physically and mentally. Basically, she vomited her demons out. There are always firsts in each class where people drop off their shit and this was hers. After napping, for several hours, she was just fine as we finished up visual field work. For once Douglas left up how the last day went to us which is highly unusual. Some people wanted more technique work, some wanted more of the philosophy of the work. He obliged. We did some work and we listened to more stories and life philosophies as the day wound down and time drifted away.
So, there it is. Be activated numero 3. I would say this sequel was the best for us and where we are in our lives. It is hard to quantify these things, but we definitely got what we needed and the universe delivered. What will be fun is what happens now – I am already much happier in this moment.
Find an RPR clinic and go. You will walk away feeling better.
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