It's a bit cheesy but here it is: You are Enough

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  • By Susan "The Wife" Bartley
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It's a bit cheesy but here it is: You are Enough

For the past few weeks Marc aka Spud and I have been travelling down the rabbit hole learning about Psychedelics and how they are being studied and used currently to help people with PTSD, life trauma, addiction and many other things.  Hand-in-hand with that, I have also been studying trauma, trauma in tissue, releasing stored trauma…basically all things related to trauma and the body.  We have also been studying shamanism and practicing shamanic journeying (without the drugs). I have been coupling the shamanic journeys with a round of meditation before hand and have actually, found a mediation app that I can do without wigging out.  We have also watched several documentaries on Netflix about psychedelics and the universe and religion and a swirling number of other topics all related to helping people calm the inner storm and find peace.  All of this work has improved my daily anxiety and it has helped me to calm down and focus.

 

One concept that keeps hovering in the front part of my consciousness is “enoughism”.  If you look up this term, you find that it means that we have enough and need to start living, striving for less.   BUT, I use the term in a different way.  I think my counselor was the first person who put this idea in front of me.  For me, “enoughism” is the idea that we, just as we are, are enough.  We in our most basic form are all the universe needs, we are all that our loved ones need, we are all that the world needs.  It is a strange concept in a world that pushes us to do, learn and be more.   So many of the labels we put on ourselves and that society puts on us, land us in a category where for whatever reason we are not enough.


For example:

“I would be more loveable (enough) if I was thinner”

“I would be a better spouse (enough) if I was better at cleaning the house”

“I would be a better spouse (enough) if I made more money”

“I would be more loveable (enough) if my laugh wasn’t so annoying”

 

These are just examples.  I am sure if you think for a minute you can figure out what your guiding statement is.  Maybe you have never thought about it before.  If you haven’t then maybe you will take time now to think and figure out what you are using as your “enough” statement.

 

In our world, the world of powerlifting and strength training, I find that most people fall under this mantra: “I would be a better person (enough) if I had a better total/bench/squat/deadlift” or whatever their training goal is.  Part of wanting to be the strongest guy or girl in the room is to prove your worth or your value.  That may not be the ultimate goal, or the goal that we strive for in training but if you get down to brass tacks this is a fundamental part of why people push their bodies to the amazing limits that they do.

 

The thing that fascinates me about the concept of “enoughism” is the fact that for everyone this love and approval is right there.  It is literally all around you all of the time and we just don’t reach out for it.  You can think of it like a little light that hovers right in front of you and all you have to do is grab it and BOOM you are surrounded by love and light and gratitude and the understanding that you are all the world needs.  It is that easy, but something stands in our way and we don’t grab it, or we grab it and hold on for second but then let it slip through our fingers.

 

This is my weirdo, voodoo, woo-woo stuff that all of our reading has put in the fore front of my brain.  And for better or worse it all came tumbling out this past weekend at the WPO.  We had the immense pleasure of being in attendance for the resurrection of the WPO this past weekend in Orlando, FL.  It was amazing to watch all of those athletes give it their all on the platform.  Dear lord we saw so many amazing lifts.  But in the middle of the day this happened:

 

One of the big named lifters (whose name I am concealing in case he thinks I am a lunatic) had a great squat, but like so many powerlifters he wasn’t happy with it.  Most never are.   No matter what they accomplish it could always have been more.  And although he was upbeat he did say that he wished he had done more.  For some reason, I have no idea what came over me, I looked at him and said “It doesn’t matter what you did on the platform, or what you do the rest of the day.  You are enough.  Who you are, regardless of your many accomplishments, regardless of your huge squat today or whether you make an equally huge bench or deadlift, you are enough, remember that.”  What?!?!  I really couldn’t believe that it just popped that out of my mouth, but in the moment it seemed urgent that I get that message across to him.   No matter what, cosmically, just being him IS ENOUGH.  He didn’t seem too weirded out by my comment but he did move on quickly to go see other friends.

 

My lifting friend didn’t end up having a great day.  He completed a phenomenal bench but was not given white lights.  I am not sure why, because from where we were standing it was a solidly locked out bench. But that is how powerlifting goes sometimes, no matter how good you are sometimes you just don’t get the right calls.  Later in the day I saw my friend in the hall and he jokingly said that “it didn’t matter because I AM ENOUGH”.  Every time I saw him the rest of the weekend he said this back to me.   I have no idea if he thought I was the lamest person on the planet when I said that to him, or maybe if a little bit of it registered.  I hope it did. 

 

At the end of the night there were a ton of meat heads in the front lobby.  Among them were some of powerlifting’s greatest legends.  One in particular was standing with his wife.  The whole story of me telling my one friend that he was “enough” came up and for some reason, I was compelled again to look at another legendary powerlifter and give him the same speech.  I ended with “…but I am sure you know that already”.  I caught a glimpse of his wife out of the corner of my eye and she was shaking her head, that no he didn’t know that.  She smiled at me. I felt weird, but I also felt compelled.  This awesome man.  This legend in the sport I love, needed to hear that?  Maybe that is why it popped out of my mouth. 

 

So, there it is folks.  I think this is my calling, maybe, to make people feel a little bit uncomfortable when I tell them that they and you are ENOUGH.  You are.  Being smarter or stronger or prettier or wealthier or thinner or more massive or whatever none of those things make you any more than you are.  They are cool, and awesome and they make you smarter and give your resume a bump and make you better at your job, sure, but they do not make you a better you.  Nothing can make you any better than you are right now…you are enough…this you…the real you…no matter what…YOU ARE ENOUGH!

 

OH yeah, and one more thing.  I love you!

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