The most depressing cheat meal EVER!

The most depressing cheat meal EVER!

Spud does some training and then recounts his most recent epic battle with the worst cheat meal ever. Imagine a horrible cinnamon roll. You can't? Well he couldn't either until he actually had one.

Friday, September 23rd: Upper

* Standing abs with MAG close grip handle 6x8
* Pulldowns 10x12
* Assisted pullups and dip supersetted. 10x6 reps each
* Reverse band bench - a little over 3 plates weight with really light bands-sets of 4 to6 till failure. Drop sets super wide grip 4x15 to 20
* Dumbell flyes 5x12 with pause at bottom

Saturday, September 24th: Lower

* Reverse hypers to warm up 4x12
* Standing abs with oblique work-5reps left, middle and right side for 6 rounds
* Belt squat: three stances per set with wide (4 reps), medium (3 reps), narrow (3reps with pause at bottom) for 2 sets each weight for 5 rounds.
* Hammer shrug machine for step ups holding handles. 5 reps a leg for 5 rounds
* Deadlift off 3 inch blocks. Lots of 3s to 455 then 3x1 reps. Threw a couple of sumo sets in there.
* Shieko Deadlift with pauses below and above knee with 3 plates for 3x2 reps
* Reverse hypers to loosen up 3x12

And the REAL misery begins...

Currently like most people I am low carbing (50 grams or less) during the week and have two cheat meals on the weekend as a reward for being good during the week on Friday and Saturday afternoons. It is also allowing me to put on weight slowly with more muscle and less fatty fat. It is working for the moment but running its course I can feel.

So as most know, the anticipation of awesome sugariness is more compelling and the imaginary reward in your brain is always at monumental levels-very lofty and unreachable-think oasis mirage desert after many days of no water and this is the idea. It will never be as awesome as you imagine it will be (if you do find it you are high or on acid) This is the weekly battle the wife and I go through - Deprive to thrive on sugar.

I know all the rhetoric about dieting, training etc. I know it is a dead end road. I know I can stop if I really want to or set my mind to it. But the reality as a “fatty fatty” kid from the time my parents kept telling me to finish my plate to all the cookies and cakes my mom would buy us. By the way, it is not their fault and I am not blaming them or anyone. I just like “F'in” sugar in any form.
So this week was no exception. The hype in the brain was super high. Friday we decided to eat at the Cinnamon Roll Deli. This place is new in town and just opened up recently. They had been working on it for months and in Columbia anything that is not the same ole same ole food is a welcome site. In other works, not very many good places to eat in our town. It is trying some but still very few really good places.

Just the thought of an awesome cinnamon roll excites us-true sugar addict! The construction was during my cancer diagnosis and treatment period. I am still recovering and my taste buds are still not a 100%, more like 80% most of the time with glimmers of past bliss (pre cancer) here and there. Continued progress so not bitching here. So in essence we thought of this new place with ooey, gooey grandma cinnamon rolls and sticky buns as a heaven to get to. Friday was the day. They have sandwiches too so “luncher” (lunch/dinner time) it was.

I had a nice looking rueben sandwich with pita chips. We also had a starter with the pita nachos with some chili. The nachos were fine but my sandwich was super salty to the point each bite became work and less enjoyment. It is my cheat meal so I don't give up ever on carbs-ever! Power though and pretend. They give you a small cinnamon roll with each meal. I forgot that at order and ordered three regular cinnamon roll to go with the meal. Pretty much you can imagine my thought and eyes were centered on the cinnamon rolls nonstop. I always get more then I can eat. Anyhow, the salty suffering finally ended and we quickly snatched up the rolls and headed to the house. Strike one.

Everyone has their methods for preparing-getting in your chair just right. Having your water or drink right there and the TV set on whatever you like, so you can truly enjoy things. I am no exception and have probably have 8 to 10 things that have to be just right before I crack out on sugar. I prepare as usual with great anticipation of these rolls. Ours friends have told us they were good so the brains are ready. I am actually salivating above current capacity. I break out the first of many with thoughts of bliss and love in my brain. The roll is very soft with lots of icing. I bypass the very soft part alarm and go right to the yummy yummy. I take the first bite and wait for the sugar high.... It does not come. I get a full on butter grenade. Shit. I don't give up. Maybe it is a bad bite. I rip off another piece and shove it in. Fuck-butter. I acknowledge, which is the first step, that it is undercooked as well. Fuck, again. My day is ruined. I investigate the rest of the roll because it is a cheat meal and sugar and you must. Same-buttery undercooked terribleness. I seek counsel as in are my taste buds just not gonna work today. The wife confirms-buttery and undercooked. Her disappointment is the same-it is the saddest cheat day ever. We still try to finish them because well it is a cheat day. I don't eat them all at first. She takes off to feed the cat colony at one of our old store locations. I get her to bring me some reeses cups thinking that the day is salvageable. By this time my taste buds have dulled to the point that all is lost and the reeses cups are flat with no taste at all. GD, it is over. I give up.... I can't find the carb high. I try again and again... but this day is lost and the disappointment is...well you know...salty and buttery which by the way is what I am now calling this deli-the salty and buttery deli. I am sure we will try again to make sure it just wasn't a bad day for them and we got a bad batch but for now that is what it is


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